Toxic Relationships That We Love

By Wednesday, January 9, 2019 7 , , , , Permalink 0

I am sure we all have some experiences of being involved in toxic relationships that were difficult to get rid of.  Not by force, but because we actually LOVED those relationships.  I know it may sound crazy to love something that is not good for you -the truth is we do it every day. From what we eat to the things that we do to our bodies. This has been an area of my life that held me captive for a long time.

Sure, I asked myself over a thousand times “why do I like being a part of these toxic relationships?” Now when I mention “relationships” I do not mean just romantic but friendships as well. Whew! Not only did it take one, but about three toxic relationships later when I was able to understand why I did. Believe it or not, it was because of hope. I had hope as small as a mustard seed that things would be different or that I could change him/her. But that hope was hiding the root, which was fear.

 

Yep, I said it fear! I was afraid to let go because I did not think it could get any better for me. I use to say things like, “this is as good as it gets Ty, suck it up and take it or be alone.” Some of you who will read this and know me personally may be surprised that I struggled. I struggled with this fear because I could never fit in. Tried dating the brotha with the gangsta lean, tried befriending the baddest chicks, tried to keep up because I was afraid to stand alone and be different.

How did I get out and make it through? I got tired, and you will too! I got tired of trying to squeeze my square into a circle. I got tired of investing in relationships/friendships that did not serve me well. I became so damn restless, it almost killed me. Matter of fact it did, well parts of me. It killed my dreams, hopes, and desires, I gave it all too much power to do even that. I had to change, I wanted out.

Three Warning Signs of an Unhealthy/Toxic Relationship 

  1. A toxic person will not support you and they trivialize your feelings, even making you feel like your feelings are not valid
  2. They may lie to you and try to twist your perception of reality, which causes you to doubt yourself and become confused.
  3. They may be verbally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially or sexually abusive.


Ask yourself how you feel when you are around them?  Does s/he make me feel like one of the above warning signs?

From there you will know the next steps to take.

Where am I now? Dodging toxic relationships like a mug lol. Doing so by being a good investor. I was good at investing but not a good investor, if that makes sense. Praying about those I allow in my space, surrounding myself around others who share the same interests, and simply not being afraid to be Tysheira, Ty, TyTy all day every day, haha. What about you? Are you currently struggling with this or have in the past, how did you make it through? Let me know in the comments.

 

Three Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

  1. There will be open, honest, safe communication, where you feel you can openly discuss anything without fear of repercussions, and disagreements are handled fairly and with compromise.
  2. You respect each others wishes and feelings, and you will most likely be on the same page in terms of your life goals and values.
  3. You feel accepted, safe, happy, laughter and joy.

As Always, Leave Inspired!

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BIO:  Tysheira is the creator behind of Leave Inspired. Although, she is an introvert. She have a lot to talk about. Find out more about Tysheira by checkout her at: Blog. Say hi to her on Instagram, & Facebook.

 

 

7 Comments
  • Karen
    January 9, 2019

    This is great. I have stayed in toxic relationships far longer than I should have. And for exactly the same reason you pointed out in your post. I felt I couldn’t do any better. But toxic relationships steal your soul and your vitality. I now know that I am better off and happier single than in another relationship with a toxic person. You are right on the money!

    • Social Nubian
      January 19, 2019

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  • Kevin
    January 10, 2019

    I really loved the graphics!

    They grabbed me and wouldn’t let go! This is a really well written piece!

    And I love the hashtag section! I hadn’t seen that before. I’m stealing that idea! 👋🏾👋🏾😀

    Another nice touch is the bio right on the blog page.

  • Kendra
    January 10, 2019

    I am all for a healthy relationship! After having been through a toxic one or two around my college years, I know now what a relationship should be like. Thanks for sharing. I’m sure someone will find this post super beneficial.

    Kendra | http://www.helga-marie.com

  • Lauren
    January 10, 2019

    This is SUCH a great post! I have definitely been in the place of fear in both romantic and friendships. I have also found those toxic relationships, specifically one that really twisted my perception to always make me feel like I was “crazy” or wrong for taking issue with things has l bled into my current relationship. I am blessed to find myself with a man who will listen, even if we fight while listening, he won’t tear me down or threaten to leave me or anything like that when I confront him with issues I’m having. While I can type that I know I can discuss things without repercussions, my past relationship toxicity still causes me extreme anxiety when I am looking to have a discussion. I think it is something that will just take time for my fight or flight reflexes to adjust to, but I hope that being aware of it helps too.

    Lauren | https://livebythesunshine.com/

  • farragio
    January 14, 2019

    Thank you for sharing this very helpful information. Definitely food for thought!

  • Chantelle Hadden
    January 14, 2019

    I’ve only had one toxic romantic relationship, and I swore never again. However, all of my friendships have been toxic and I’ve ended up wiping the slate clean and starting fresh. It means I currently have no friends but it’s worth it. And my boyfriend is worth 10 friends so I don’t need them.

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