Relationship Series: Evolution of Me & Love

Why would I look in my rear view mirror for love, “ I used to say.” Your ex is your ex for a reason, “I used to say.”

Well, lets take a look at WHY our ex’s are just that – a part of our past?

Could it be because of hurt? Betrayal? Mistrust? Lack of communication? Being inequally yoked? Loss of attraction? Loss of sex and intimacy? Illusions? Assumptions? FEAR?

While, most of my life, I have not been a proponent of going back to anything, be it a job, old friendships, my hometown or love. However, growing older, wiser; along with life lessons under my belt and being more mature has taught me:

. Never say what you wont’ do
. Give people the benefit of the doubt
. To NOT operate from my ego

I recently reconnected with the Love of my life; My ex. This was the man I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, was going to be my husband and the father of my children. People would always ask me, “How come you don’t have kids…your’e so pretty.” I never knew what being pretty had to do with being able and capable of parenting a child. However, If God were to bless me with that privilege – I believed it would be with him. But, I was wrong.

Our one year courtship ended in 2013 and I was beyond devastated. This relationship was the first one I had ever been in that I ended and instantly went to work on peeling away the layers of:
. Hurt
. Anger
. Frustration
. Blame
. Victimhood
. Defeat

I wrote in my journal every day. I prayed the hurt away. I meditated the feeling of suffocating in my own pity and regret. I discarded most of the memories I had of him; because of the hurt and shame. The one thing I couldn’t get rid of was the love. I learned to accept that although I might ALWAYS love him and believed he loved me; that the two of us were not meant to be together.

It’s amazing how we can train the mind to not only write a story, but to memorize it and replay it over and over in our heads.

Fast forward, three years later. This man has re-entered my life in a way that has rearranged my story. His re-introduction back into my life has shown me that I have the right to change my mind I have the right to forgive him and to forgive myself. I have the right to remember, also, the yummy, amazing and delicious reasons why I loved my ex and why he may not have been ready for me then; but God has had three years to soften and prepare my heart, mind and intent for him today the way that he has prepared his for me.

So, when we get married to these cliches that we pick up from our parents, our parents parents, friends and colleagues – let us not forget who’s life we’re living. Who says love can’t come around twice and be even better the second time around.

Stay tuned for another series of Eat, Love, and Them Some Relationship Series. In the meantime – Let Love be your guiding force in ALL of your decisions. After all, #LoveIsTheNewCommodity.

Author: Fee King is a Lifestyle Blogger with a passion for DIY, Fitness, Traveling, and much more. To find out more about Fee. You can check her out at Subscribe & Follow

See You Soon, xox.


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