Relationship Series: Evolution of Me & Love

Why would I look in my rear view mirror for love, “ I used to say.” Your ex is your ex for a reason, “I used to say.”

Well, lets take a look at WHY our ex’s are just that – a part of our past?

Could it be because of hurt? Betrayal? Mistrust? Lack of communication? Being inequally yoked? Loss of attraction? Loss of sex and intimacy? Illusions? Assumptions? FEAR?

While, most of my life, I have not been a proponent of going back to anything, be it a job, old friendships, my hometown or love. However, growing older, wiser; along with life lessons under my belt and being more mature has taught me:

. Never say what you wont’ do
. Give people the benefit of the doubt
. To NOT operate from my ego

I recently reconnected with the Love of my life; My ex. This was the man I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, was going to be my husband and the father of my children. People would always ask me, “How come you don’t have kids…your’e so pretty.” I never knew what being pretty had to do with being able and capable of parenting a child. However, If God were to bless me with that privilege – I believed it would be with him. But, I was wrong.

Our one year courtship ended in 2013 and I was beyond devastated. This relationship was the first one I had ever been in that I ended and instantly went to work on peeling away the layers of:
. Hurt
. Anger
. Frustration
. Blame
. Victimhood
. Defeat

I wrote in my journal every day. I prayed the hurt away. I meditated the feeling of suffocating in my own pity and regret. I discarded most of the memories I had of him; because of the hurt and shame. The one thing I couldn’t get rid of was the love. I learned to accept that although I might ALWAYS love him and believed he loved me; that the two of us were not meant to be together.

It’s amazing how we can train the mind to not only write a story, but to memorize it and replay it over and over in our heads.

Fast forward, three years later. This man has re-entered my life in a way that has rearranged my story. His re-introduction back into my life has shown me that I have the right to change my mind I have the right to forgive him and to forgive myself. I have the right to remember, also, the yummy, amazing and delicious reasons why I loved my ex and why he may not have been ready for me then; but God has had three years to soften and prepare my heart, mind and intent for him today the way that he has prepared his for me.

So, when we get married to these cliches that we pick up from our parents, our parents parents, friends and colleagues – let us not forget who’s life we’re living. Who says love can’t come around twice and be even better the second time around.

Stay tuned for another series of Eat, Love, and Them Some Relationship Series. In the meantime – Let Love be your guiding force in ALL of your decisions. After all, #LoveIsTheNewCommodity.

Author: Fee King is a Lifestyle Blogger with a passion for DIY, Fitness, Traveling, and much more. To find out more about Fee. You can check her out at www.Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl.blogspot.com. Subscribe & Follow

See You Soon, xox.

10 Comments
  • Chiara Marie
    October 26, 2016

    This is everything. Like I said, you are speaking to my life!! Going thru the exact same thing.

    Chiara

  • Juanita
    October 28, 2016

    I never thought of it like this.

    Thanks for your honesty and perspective. Enjoy the journey!

  • Karoliina Kazi
    October 28, 2016

    Loved reading your post and I am so happy for you xx

  • kittylimon
    October 29, 2016

    Never thought of it this way, really interesting read and glad to see you’re happy with the love of your life. thanks for sharing your perspective 🙂

  • analesha
    October 29, 2016

    I’m so happy for you. Thanks for an honey post x

  • The Cornish House
    October 29, 2016

    Interesting read and I enjoyed your story. Hoping it all works out for you http://www.thecornishhouse.com

  • Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life
    October 29, 2016

    I say if you feel like this is the right thing for you to do, then go with your heart but be cautious so you don’t get hurt again. Wishing you all the best.

  • shantel mendez
    November 7, 2016

    love your transparency.

    -Shantel
    http://www.shantelmendez.com

  • Lasonia
    July 5, 2017

    Very interesting read. I was always told growing up that you should never “backtrack” as my parents and grandparents would put it. I’ve always believed that once you broke up with a person, it was over and that you should move on. I do know people who have gotten back with their exes, and the relationship was so much better the second time around. It’s great to hear that things have worked out for you and your former ex.

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